


A Letter to a Respectable Gentleman

by whalersandsailors



Category: The Terror (TV 2018)
Genre: During Canon, Edward the Romantic, Epistolary, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Light Angst, Love Letters, M/M, One Shot, Probable Inaccurate Coordinates, Secret Relationship, in a literal and literary sense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:01:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23813449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whalersandsailors/pseuds/whalersandsailors
Summary: Two days before Lieutenant Little's sledge party is to embark on their overland march, Edward sits down to write a very important and secret letter, at the risk of his honor & virtue, to an undisclosed confidant.
Relationships: Thomas Jopson/Lt Edward Little
Comments: 12
Kudos: 50
Collections: All Well: The Terror April 2020 Fest





	A Letter to a Respectable Gentleman

**Author's Note:**

> or, _A Letter to a Respectable Gentleman, of Impeccably High and Unsullied Character, from a Loyal Member of Her Majesty’s Royal Navy, Requesting His Utmost Discretion and Devotion in These Trying Times_

16th of April 1848

Aboard HMS Terror — off the coast of King William Land

Lat 69° 58’ N, Long 99° 84’ W

My dearest sir,

I regret the lack of a reliable return address and hope that this letter finds you well.

[ _a space, the beginning of a line scratched out by ink_ ]

That was a poor joke. I have half a mind to start anew, but I have no extra paper. Please don’t think me a fool.

I am writing you before I leave this wooden haven that has been my home these last three years. Were I able to go back in time to whisper into the ear of my younger, more hopeful self, I might have warned him off; told him to leap from the docks at Greenhithe, to run for the hills, to seek a ship in warmer, gentler seas, to weather any disgrace better than this Polar fanaticism.

I feel too old for adventures. Likewise, am I too young for a promotion that I don’t believe I have earned and the duty it bears? The title _Commander_ fits as poorly as a shoe into which I have not properly grown.

But I am being unfair, aren’t I?

You are the only man who knows my sorrows. I must thank you and give you my condolences, both. I know that I shouldn’t burden you, but there is many a night where I lie awake in my bunk and realise that you might be the stronger of us both. You certainly have seen more of the world than I; much as you are loath to admit it, you know it is the truth. You have seen both Poles and may yet live to tell your tale of exploration.

[ _in smaller text, fitted around the former paragraph, as though written as an afterthought_ ] I know that Captain Crozier would find a steward’s memoir, especially yours, to be wildly entertaining, even at the expense of us officers.

I pray that our measures on land will increase our chances of survival. I detest how much the thought makes me ill; accustomed as I am to have the ocean beneath my feet rather than the immovable, stolid Earth.

I wish I shared your optimism, dearest sir, for I would much enjoy its boon. Let me put aside my agitation for one moment, as I do not want to waste your precious time by boring you with these familiar worries.

Allow me instead to share with you my plans for when we return to England, which I hope will be very soon:

— Following all the requirements of the Admiralty and our Capts, I shall eschew any social obligation from polite society and find myself a home far from any city to live the respectable life of a country gentleman.

— If not retirement, I will make do with a Commander’s half-pay. I do not require much for my comfort or wellbeing, though I will make sure that there is enough for a scullery maid and a pair of reliable horses.

— I would like a house near a wood, however, as I would enjoy walking among trees after my time in the Arctic.

— I would also enjoy being near a lake or river where I could resume my enjoyment of fishing, and where I might introduce you to the leisure.

— If it not too expensive to find a house large enough to accommodate a couple guest rooms, I would like the space for my siblings to visit. In particular, my sister Maggie is dear to me, and I would love to have her visit often.

— And most of all; most important of all, I would very much like the company of a good friend, one to last the remainder of my life.

Is it too much for me to ask of you? I feel the urge to apologise, but I cannot be sorry for how much I adore you.

My dear sir, you have brought me light and joy, even in the winter months. Your smile is as brilliant as a night sky full of stars, and I would like to use it as guidance to keep my spirits high while we make our way home.

I feel my face blushing, having written that. You would laugh at my silliness, no doubt, but you are kind even when you tease me. Perhaps I should leave such flowery language to the poets for now.

The bell rings on deck, and I am due for watch this evening. I will spare a moment to slip this letter into your bedclothes, under your pillow, as per usual. I mourn how this letter must be my replacement in your bed this evening, as I cannot conjure an excuse to slip away with you one final time.

My dearest sir, I remain yours and yours alone,

Edward

p.s. Make room in your dreams for me, my heart, and I shall love you yet.

I will see you at home.

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta'ed, I unleashed my inner over-the-top Edward and I will not apologize
> 
> [check me out on tumblr](https://whalersandsailors.tumblr.com)


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